Silly Christians

I am always intrigued by the traditions and where they come from--Christmas for example is the day we (as Christians) celebrate the birth of Jesus Christ...way back when he was born in mid July. I am still amazed how many Merry Christmas wishing Christians don't know this. I would figure they would learn the truth about something as important as His birth, the birth of the Savior, of God, but no. Jesus born in July? Poppycock! Surely you jest!

But I jest not. I don't know how much detail I have to go into because it seems common knowledge for some and unheard of by others. I think it has to do with how hardcore a Christian you are. Casual church goers don't seem to know and don't seem to care, but the Evangelical Christians usually respond: "I know." when I say Jesus wasn't born on December 25th.

After that there is a bridge of sorts, let's call it the Bridge of Truth. I am standing on Truth inviting others to come across the bridge and share in Truth. But they don't want to come! So I scoop up truth and mold it like a snowball and throw it at them:

"If we celebrate Christmas to remember the birth of Christ (back in July), where do the evergreen trees come in? How does that tie into the birth of Jesus? Because evergreen trees such as Pine and Fir do not grow in Israel/Palestine (Bethlehem) at all."

I know the snowball was too much when they say those magic words: "Hmm. I don't know. I will look into it and get back to you." It's like they have the same class where the Prof says, "Now this is what you say if struck with the snowball of truth..."

So where are we now? Christmas is not the day to celebrate Christ's Birth (I mean, for many it is, but it is not the reason for the tree, the presents, the gift giving, eggnog and all that) It is from the Yule Time Celebration by the Nordic Vikings and the Winter Solstice by the Germanic Pagans (which is very similar to the Nords). They were afraid of Oden who they believed flew over their houses at night to see who would prosper or perish, as a result they stayed inside--and if they had to go outside they made sure to do good deeds as those would be seen by Oden if he passed by.

The Yule time was a celebration of the return of the sun to rid the land of winter. They would burn huge logs called Yule Logs in a giant bonfire. They would feast until the logs burned, which was usually about 14 days. This was the time that the beer and wine made early in the year had fermented enough to be imbibed and they enjoyed a feast from fresh meat (animals slaughtered so they wouldn't have to be fed during winter). Yule starts on the 21st...kinda around the time of Hanukkah. (not really, Hanukkah supposed to be celebrated late November, but that conflicts with turkey day, so they got bumped up.)

Speaking of Bumping up, The celebration of the birth of Christ (in July) is celebrated in December because the original celebration (Solstice/Yule) took place at that time. Any good Pope knows you can't let the Pagans have their holiday. But it is difficult to undo a tradition, especially a tradition that predates Christianity. As is common practice the Catholics decided to celebrate Christ's B-day at the same time as the Pagan celebrations because the pagans grossly outnumbered the Catholics. Around the 4th century Christians outnumbered Pagans and they brought the celebration down to one day: the 25th of December.

From there it was outlawed by the puritans in England(1400's), and changed many times until the standard gift-giving, season-to-be-sharing holiday it is now (late 1800's). Then Coca-Cola gave us the modern rendition of Santa Clause.

I would just like to say Happy Yule Time Solstice.

I would also like to say it doesn't matter who started the tradition, as traditions--traditionally--evolve and change as the years go by.

And to you grumpy Christians: don't be so indignant about "loosing the meaning" of your holiday, as it wasn't yours to begin with.

Enjoy your X-mas, be safe, enjoy your family and togetherness.

(there is a cool article about Christmas on the History Channel Website also)

MRI

This machine is shrouded in mystery. Just WTF is it all about?

Seeing as I know a thing or two about them I thought I'd post some info after seeing medical shows totally get it wrong.

It is a super conductor, which means its full of liquid helium to get as close to Absolute Zero as possible (about 2 degrees kelvin or -456.07 degrees Fahrenheit, -271 Celsius) to flow electricity better. Because the colder things are the better electricity flows, which is why it is freaking cold around the magnet.

The magnet itself is a massive electromagnetic conductor of incredible strength. Magnets are measured in tesla scale named after Nikola Tesla the inventor of the 2nd industrial revolution because of his work with electricity and magnetism and physics. But what's it all mean? Lemme illustrate: The big magnet at a junkyard that picks up cars is a 0.2 tesla magnet. The MRI magnet my dad works with everyday is a 2 tesla magnet. There are 3 tesla (60,000 times more powerful then the earth's magnetic field) magnets out there with experiments in the 6 tesla range (patience experience short term memory loss,and dizziness in such a machine).

Because of its incredible magnetic strength NO METAL IS ALLOWED IN THE ROOM. Unless you run the magnet and are showing off to your kid, then it's ok. More on that later.

If you have any magnetic devices like an ipod, credit card, tape, or computer within the magnetic field it will be erased, inoperable and pulled toward the magnet at an exponential rate. That means from 6ft away if you drop a wrench to the ground it will arc towards the magnet, which pulls it more, and swing up towards it and fly right at it and accelerate at an incredible speed, but only in the last few inches as it accelerates from 30mph to 100mph. (safety video of them dropping a wrench and showing it shatter a block of concrete.)

Right, so no metal. But what about jewelery? Gold isn't magnetic so it should be fine right? Wrong! The magnet uses a powerful radio frequency (RF) to take pictures (more on that later) and when you pulse a radio frequency into a ring of metal it resonates (the molecules get agitated, creating heat) within a magnetic field. So what happens? It heats up to the point it can burn your skin, which burns, obviously. So no earrings, bracelets, necklaces or rings. This includes piercings in naughty places which some people try to hide cause they don't want anyone to know. So they walk in with the magnet (one woman burned her clit. YIKES!) and scream, but not at first cause its a slow heating process. So no jewelery.

Strangely, tattoos can be problematic because some of the dyes are metal based like the colors green and red, and those too can heat up, or in the case of prison tattoos, get pulled out of the skin because it is ferromagnetic. (iron, steel, etc.)

Ok so now the crazy part, how do you use RF and magnetism to take pictures of the human body, and why MRI as opposed to X-ray? Excellent question!
Thank you.
You're welcome.
The magnet is shaped like a tunnel (some are shaped differently, but the best ones are shapped like a tunnel) with the magnet making the tunnel walls. You go to the center of the machine and lie very still while the machine makes a rukus. Seriously, high decibel levels, you need earphones/earplugs for to prevent damage. So now the MRI machine has it's powerful magnetic field encircling you and holding your atoms in alignment. Trippy huh? Holding your atoms in alignment, all of them. Then it uses the Radio Frequency mentioned earlier to pulse to the target area (say your back hurts, or your foot, the target area would be those places) at a specific frequency to reverse the aligment of hydrogen atoms.

Because we are made up of so much water this works out well. So the magnet holds the hydrogen atoms in alignment and the RF hits it and flips them 180 then the computer watches the speed and energy at which they return to normal. Because the hydrogen in fat rotates and gives off different levels of energy then those of bone, tumor, or blood, the computer can digitize an image showing your internal organs without any damage to your body. That is why it is essential that you don't move, cause the machine is measuring your spinning atoms.

So now that I got that out of the way, let me correct medical shows getting it all wrong.

-The magnet can not be turned on or off with the flip of a switch, they are always on (super conductor requires constant enery flow).
-An MRI is a complicated technical machine requring technicians to operate, it is not a lightswitch that anyone can flip, even if they are the worlds greatest brain surgeon and wants to take the pictures himself.
-....I just remebered I have to write my woman a farie tale.

got to go

The Swiss Banker

You know how when you are at the airport, and you don't travel much, and so much has changed since the last time and you are in a line for the security check and the guy behind you is some Swiss banker who flies every day, sometimes twice a day, and he knows the system and the rules and what is expected and he has his shoes off before he even sees the gate, but he is behind you and has to wait for you to figure it all out because he is so good at it he can walk right through without slowing down?

or

You know how you are at a sushi place for the first/second time and everyone around you is having fun trying new things and there is some Swiss banker in the corner buying the fancy stuff and eating things that seem impervious to chopsticks and he is surrounded by dishes and sauces and knows what goes where and when and when you get your own dishes and sauces you are thinking, "What are all these bowls for? Whats this pink stuff for, and where is my spoon for this soup?" and you bumble around mixing things that aren't to be mixed and using bowls for what they aren't meant for as he walks out the door?

or

You know how you are at the new coffee shop in town and you don't normally go to coffee shops and there is no line but as soon as you step up to order a line forms behind you full of people who come here every day, including that Swiss banker, and they are waiting for you and you say what you want and the barista asks how you want it and you don't know how it comes so you ask and the people behind you start to pile up and it takes you 2 minutes to make a complete order while it takes 2 more minutes for the barista to get through the whole army of people behind you?

or

You know how you are about to have sex for the second-ish time with a woman and she knows what she likes and where she wants you and you don't and all you know is that it feels good and she asks/tells you to do something to her and you don't know what she means and you try to extrapolate the words into an action that you think is pleasing to her but she is still waiting for you to do what she asked for and she wishes she was with that Swiss banker who could hit her G, C, F, and Q spots while standing on one leg and massaging her back?

or

You know how you are about to have sex for the second time with a man and he knows more about the female body then your gynocologist and he asks if you like what he is doing and you don't know because you think you have to pee most of the time and he asks for your foot or your arm and you don't know why he wants your foot so you just moan louder which makes him more exuberant and he grabs your hand and puts your finger in his mouth and you think you are supposed to do something but you dont know what and he wishes he was sexing that Swiss banker chick who knew how to move around in bed?

or

You know how you are about to smoke weed the first time and they give you a joint and you inhale and hold it in and it stings and you cough and they all laugh and encourage you and you inhale again and hold it and cough and you just keep going that way over and over while everyone else is waiting for you to pass the joint incuding that Swiss banker who could have made seven passes to your one already?

That is what driving is like for me if I were a Swiss banker.