it's better if it's worse

When telling/writing a story a happy tale is boring.

If you go on a picnic and everything is perfect when you get back and someone says, "So how'd it go?" And you say, "Perfect. Great," and they go, "cool." and that's it. But, if they say, "So, how'd it go?" and you say, "horrible." they say, "Why? What happened?" And you say, "Well, we got there and it was all muddy, and then it started raining and I sat in ants and it was bad..." And they go "Whoa, that sucks, tell me about it." They want to see you unhappy. They want to be jealous of your bad time.

Have you ever noticed how when you have a bad day everyone else seems to have a good day? And if you find one homo sapien sapien out there who is having a bad day when you are the two of you band together and share it, however briefly, as if it could ward off the others in bliss?

Have you noticed how when you find that person to share your bad day with and they have a worse day then you, you are jealous of their bad day? And angry that you have been out done?

Have you ever noticed how when your significant other and you have a fight everyone else seems to be happily coupled and on parade for you to see? And you want to see someone break up, right there in front of you so you can walk over to them and say, "I feel your pain lets talk about it." But the real reason is to see their pain, to see them suffer, but not as bad as you.

Have you ever noticed how when you decide to be in a serious relationship with someone all the most attractive SINGLE people come out of the woodwork? People that didn't seem to exist before that moment.

Have you noticed how when you haven't had sex in awhile everyone else is planning trysts around you? Or telling their friends about their mind blowing full body orgasm? And this becomes your theme song: http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=-1032978311268695392

Have you ever noticed how when someone has a bad day and you are having a good day and they tell you about their bad day you need to tell them about how awesome your day was. You want to see them unhappy. You want to see the pain in their face, the anger, only to get jealous of their bad day.

Roman Lesbians

The Romans thought that Homosexuality amongst women was DISGUSTING and REVOLTING and just plain silly because they didn't have the right tools to get the job done; moreover, they thought that any woman that participated in homosexual activity was just confused and felt pity for them, those poor women. Can you imagine that?

You are a Roman man, and decide its time for some loving so you kiss your wife good bye and walk down to your favorite boyfriends house to get your freak on, and on the way there you see one attractive woman with thin clothes, clear skin, wondrous proportions, full lips, hips and bust, perhaps with slight perspiration peppering her brow; and then from around the corner comes another woman, this one is gorgeous though, and makes your toga rise and then they look at one another and smile. And then they reach for one another with a longing passionate look (the way your wife use to look at you), and grasp one another about the shoulders and waist and press together in a passionate embrace, breasts mushed together, hands tracing contours, lips slipping and sliding over pink flesh. They fall against the wall together, legs entwine, hands slip under garments and between thighs until your toga falls back down and you feel your lunch rise in your stomach, up your throat, across your tongue, passed your lips and onto the paved road splashing against your sandaled feet.

They stop, thank the gods, and turn to face you and deeply apologize to you and ask that you not tell the guards about them. And you would have too, if your boyfriend hadn't spotted you standing there and took your hand and lead you back to his place.