updates

I been in a rut as far as writing goes and things in general I suppose. I just got back from a work training seminar thing all expenses paidfor three days o better serve customers and make more monies and so on. We learned about how important active listening is (everyone thought it was act of listening) when a customer says something like, "I have a 2000 Ford Ranger" and you say, "cool. Can I get the year make and model of the vehicle?" Customers feel like they aren't important and are much less likely to part with their money. It sounds straightforward enough, doesn't it? The thing is employees greet and talk to over a hundred customers a day and we get burned out of pretending to be interested in every one of them after years of work. SO we learned how you have to stop pretending and start caring, picking up on the things that customers think are important and using them to sell tires to them.

We also learned about positive attitude, and I learned that I dont have that. And I was surprised because I thought I was a positive guy. And I am in certain areas, but deep down I'm not. A great example of that is when my mom showed me an article in the Ojai newsabout a class mate of mine from highschool who published a book. My immediate thoughts were: I bet it's lame, and he published it througha website which will publish anything, even lame stuff. It sounds boring. I bet I could write something better. And then a little voice in my head said, "whoa whoa whoa Brian! What a shitty attitude that was. Look how negative you are. You should be happy a class mate published a book. And it should encourage you, mr fancy pants writer to write your own book and get published instead of whining about it. If all you do is whine and complain about how everybody else's stuff sucks and you could do better, and yet you dont write anything. Don't worry about everyone else. Stop whining and get writing! The only person responsible for not being published is you. So lets go!" That voice had a lot to say.

Than today my Grandma called and asked what I was doing, and I told her about the work training seminar thing and how work was going and she said, "oh great. Now listen here. I want you to read a book called the last lecture by Randy Pausch."
"Ok, I'll check it out."
"No, I want you to read it right now. I am serious."
"Oh. Um. Ok."
"And I want your brother to read it, and your mother and your father."
"I'll tell them."
"You better. You can check it out from the library or even go to the internet and watch the lecture there, but the book is better."
"Alright I will do that now."
"Alright. Have a great day."
"Thanks, you too."

so I checked out the lecture on youtube which had 10million views about this computer science professor at carnegie mellon university who has 1 month to live on account of his pancreatic/liver cancer. He died last year.

Anyway I couldn't finish it today because I have work but I got 10 mins into it and he said something That hit me especially hard. He said: We cannot change the cards we are dealt, only how we play them.

Time for work. Have a great day!

Which is it

I did a lot of reading and research about breasts recently. As a side note did you know that your self exam should include the area around the clavicle, and under it and such? I didn't know that. Anyway, that is not the topic of this post.

And discovered this ...war?...struggle? something over whether breast are for babies or sex. And some people say they are sex organs, sensitive overtly sexual that's why you got to cover up outside or face legal action. The other side says breasts are for feeding children and have only been sexualized by men with mommie issues. In other countries the taboo doesn't exist as much and in 3rd world places they think its funny how we are obsessed with breasts, cause they are for babies only. There is literature and arguments and scientists and sociologists and all these peope going back and forth; breasts are sexual, breasts are for babies, yadda yadda.

So which is it?

Maybe I am missing something here, but can't the breasts be both? It seems to me that any body part can be sexualized because of a fetish or something. It could be ears or feet or fingers or whatever. But that may be a slippery slope, I think, because breasts predominately factor in to advertising and movies and stuff, whereas feet and stuff, not so much.

So what am I trying to say?

It doesn't make any sense to me to argue about the purpose of breasts because whatever the reason that everyone may agree with or not, there they are, and here to stay regardless of what is decided.

Now, I can agree and disagree with both sides of this issue because things are rarely absolute and a middle ground usually exists.

I will never forget something Erin said: "Ok, look, like, ok you see, there is this blade of grass and I can tell you what color I think it is, and you can explain what color you think it is but in between those two ways is what it REALLY is." Which is really intelligent because the grass isn't green, it isn't even a color at all. It reflects all other visible spectrums of light except green, and our brain fills in the rest, which makes us see green. How can we be sure that how one's brain interprets chemical reflection is the same as anothers? What was I saying? ...Breasts, right.

Those people that think breasts are for babies only should work on unsexualizing breasts and the way to do that is reveal breasts in nonsexual situations. So walk around with the girls hanging out and in a few years the breast taboo will fade away. The insistance of this "controversy" fuels the taboo. Those are my two cents and if you collect enough of them you can buy yourself a cheeseburger.

How gross is gross?

This post is disgusting.

People are disgusting. And they are disgusting to one another. But what happens when people do disgusting things out of love?

They are still disgusting to people who aren't part of the love.

Case in point is the internet phenomena called "Two Girls, One Cup."

DO NOT search for it.

I heard about it from the guys at work. They said it was the most disgusting thing they had ever seen. And I am interested in that, cause I have seen a lot of disgusting stuff in real life and pictures and videos. It takes a lot to disgust me. So I checked it out. Real briefly I will summarize what it is. One girl defecates into a cup and they take turns eating it and regurgitating it on each other.

Pooping and puking. Hardly anybody wants to see either one of those things separate. Together they are enough to trigger some of the most resolute gag reflexes. While I watched, I wondered how and why anybody would do this, and film it and post it online. It was considered legally obscene by the US Government and websites can no longer hold the video. What you can see now is people's reactions to the footage, not the footage itself. I saw it before it was pulled.

Anyway, the interesting thing about all this is the mentality that goes with it. These two Latina girls could have been tripping out of their minds on acid or something but most likely it was in vein of scat based porn. Whats the attraction to poo play right?

Some people (myself EXCLUDED) find it incredible because it means the other person loves ALL of you, even what other people think is gross. So you have the pooer wanting love and the pooee giving love by loving ALL of their partner.

Both these two people are psychologically damaged individuals. One was physically/mentally/emotionally abused, the other had no loving parents/guardians. One person told repeatedly they are worthless, or that no one could love them; another wishing for love until they give it out to compensate for the lack of love received . So when they see someone who needs love it triggers a response based on how they felt when they had no love and they try to love the other to make up for the lack of love from others, if that makes any sense. When you don't get love you love others more to make up for the love you didn't get so they will love you back. It's psychology stuff, our brains are messed up.

You can also see this type of super love for others in sex surrogates (people, usually women, that have sex with other people who were abused to teach them how to have sex with another person, for therapy.) Or pregnancy surrogates, women who will give birth to your baby if you are unable to. Really giving people.

Anyway, people who do this in real life feel that way, people in porn who do it are filling a niche market for those people who play with poo in real life.

Whats interesting, at least to me, is that the women took this idea from men. Two guys made a video called, "Two Guys, One Glass."

Similar things happen, but the guys got carried away and one guy put the glass up his rectum and it shatters while inside. So it becomes this horrifying, screaming, bloody mess. But oddly the feeling I got was, "You shouldn't play with poo and put glass up your ass, dude."

So these two girls, in typical female fashion, learn from the mistakes of men and used a plastic cup. And the whole thing goes without a hitch -- and oddly winds up being more disgusting for it.

So lets hear it for the girls.

And to think that at one point I thought guys could be more disgusting than girls...lost my thread...train of thought... is now leaving the station...

Areopogetica! There we go. Areopogetica was the name a pamphlet illegally printed in England by John Milton criticizing the new censorship law England had enacted. His point, if I recall correctly was not to censor stuff because censors get use to messed up stuff and can't accurately represent the population. The best thing to do is let it out and let society crush it. Which is why we can still read Hitler's Mein Kampf (sp). So we can see how messed up a person, or in the case of these two girls, how messed up people can become and establish a line of "ok that is freaky gross disgusting side and my side is not."

So in sumation 'Two Girls, One Cup' would have disgusted Hitler.