Rick Santorum's google problem

Former Pennsylvania senator Rick Santorum seems like an anti-gay religious wacko to me. And in 2003 he likened gay sex to bestiality, pedophilia and other nasty things. This wasn't the first or last time he would say such things. Dan Savage took notice and held a neologism contest to attribute his name to the nastiest sex thing anybody could come up with.

I imagine at the time the anti-gay crowd, in their infinite naïvete to gay sex and gay culture, thought this a meaningless exercise. What's the worst that could happen?

Somehow they forgot that gay men, are in fact, men. And further that men are well versed in being exceptionally gross and disgusting when there is call to do so. It is part of our natural male super powers along with opening stubborn jars, fixing things with our hands, being out of touch with our feminine side, our inability to have opinions on fabric, and other things. In fact it is normal and natural to have competitions revolving around who can gross out the other most. Such contests can go on for months. This is an innate ability for men, as women need training to do this. Such training usually comes from being a coroner, nurse, vet and etc. (however one of womenfolk's innate abilities is to pick up or otherwise clean the nastiest stuff in the world without complaint, like vomit, baby poop and month old rotten food; men require training to do this, such as being a coroner, trash collector or similar. Though men can talk about it later, and often do to gross out other men.)

Where was I? Right, so when Dan Savage proposed this contest to find the grossest sex related thing gay people searched long and hard proposing one thing after another and than voted. After much time a clear winner was determined. That winner was then attributed to Rick Santorum and it is easily known by googleing 'Santorum.' Go ahead, Google it if you are unaware, everyone else: onward!

Santorum than became the subject of a google bomb as people began, purposefully, searching for the phrase. Now 'Santorum,' that poignant frothy mix of feces and anal lube is way more popular than the senator.

You can imagine how difficult it might be to run for president when everything you say is cast in frothy brown font. Thus we have Rick Santorum's Google problem. A problem he wants desperately to be rid of, but one that has been going strong since 2003 and gives no indication of slowing down.

Furthermore Rick Santorum (as far as I can tell) is bat-shit nuts and wants to be president in 2012 (idk why he would bother because we all know the world blows up then) and he has been trying to pass bills that regulate sex and masturbation. Both of those are very dear and near to my heart so I will do my part to fight tooth and nail to make sure Mr. Froth fails at every opportunity.

I predict in the future, long after the memory of the senator, Santorum will live on, strong as ever, as a very accurate description of an appalling, gross, vile, nauseating, detestable, and revolting man.

Take it away Dan:


http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=iG62Gh8ffbY