Commencement

I went to see Yalie and Howard graduate. It was a hot day and I went with their friends, most of which had seen the ceremony 4 times already and were speaking lines before the speaker did. It was funny to me because they enunciated and stressed the same words as the speaker did before he did.

It was sad to me though. After all this class time and writing and stressing and parties it comes to an end. Just like that, over. Yalie moves to France, I may never see her again. Howard doesn't know what to do or where to go and is hard to get a hold of. I was asking myself what it would be like to bring it all to an end and have a graduation or as they call it "commencement ceremony." (Commence what? The rest of life? Working? Seems lofty and unrealistic to me. Like a, "This is the first day of the rest of your life," which is something I heard Satan says when you go to hell. The phrase has universal application I suppose, but its one of those things that doesn't truly say anything, but people smile and nod in response anyway. Like, any day above ground is a good day, or any landing you can walk away from is a good one, or this is the beginning of the end.) I got derailed...it was interesting to see Yalie and Howard act after graduation. It matched my thoughts of what I thought I would be like. This apprehensive, overly (fake) happy and smiley and thanking everyone for everything, even strangers. There are small moments of clarity though, in which I saw the indecision in their eyes. I can only guess what they were thinking/feeling. Yalie countered it with sunglasses, Howard with lots of flowers and happy laughs and smiles. Isn't it supposed to be fun? It felt like everyone ignored the fact that it was coming to an end, and just enjoyed the moment. A sort of unwritten, unspoken law that everyone knows and enacts on "this day of joy."

I just wonder why.