Gay Prom

A lot has happened. Too much to fill you in on, so I wont. I can't even remeber where I left off. But basically there were car problems, relationship problems, life problems, financial woes and on and on. But that is life, some of us are more aware of that than others.

I had so much to tell you yesterday but I got sleepy instead.

I recently discovered Dan Savage the Gay, Sex and relationship columnist. He is way cool. Funny and smart with an eerily perfect perspective on relationships and sex. It's refreshing and hilarious.

That reminds me, this one time I went to gay prom, you know those proms that honor Constance McMillan, that high school girl that asked if she could bring her girlfriend to prom as her date? The school said, "no." She said, "You can't deny my civil rights." They canceled prom altogether and parents financed a private prom which excluded the lesbian couple. Anyway, I went to gay prom with Loo and JoJo, her gay friend since forever, and I remember walking in and seeing these two girls probably 20 years old. They were unbelievably hot. They wore ball gowns that hugged their figures, they had ample bosoms, long legs, great skin, and hair. They looked regal.

Anyway, they might be the hottest girls I have ever seen in real life. And they were walking towards us. I smiled at them, like I do to all beautiful women that walk towards me. If they saw me they gave no indication. What they did instead of acknowledge my existence was check out Loo, head to toe and back. Then they smiled, they liked what they saw. Then they split up and walked around us. I turned to watch them go, but I wasn't sure which one to follow. Almost tore my head in half trying to follow them both. Anyway, I followed the brunette. I watched her walk by as though she was on a runway, watched her stiletto-heeled feet lightly click and clack on the hardwood floor, watched her thighs flex under her indigo gown, watched her hips sway and her breasts bounce with each step. Then she rejoined the other girl and the two of them turned to watch something. I followed their eyes right to Loo's curvaceous backside. I think the three of us really liked that view.

It was a little weird to be in that place, but not for reasons you might think. Just about every girl there didn't care about me, but liked Loo A LOT. I had nothing that they wanted. I was invisible to them. That's never happened to me before. And the boys by contrast were really nice and respectable. I only got hit on twice, than the word got out that I was a... you know, this would work better in Dialog.

"Hey, Dustin meet Brian," JoJo said. I turned to face Dustin. He was tall, wearing a silver tuxedo vest, fedora and fancy pants. He had two earrings in one ear and short red hair. He was tall like me. He looked like a sharply dressed young man, 21 maybe.

"Hey, Brian. Nice to meet you," Dustin said as we shook hands. JoJo looked away scanning the dance floor for friends I imagine.

"Likewise," I said.

"Wow, that's some grip you have there," Dustin said smiling. That's when JoJo turned back to us.

"Dustin," JoJo said, "he's a breeder."

"Damn it!" Dustin said, "How come all the hot ones..."

"Sorry man," I said.

"Its kool man, nice to meet you anyway," Dustin said. And we got to talking.

But the term 'Breeder,' I love.

Anyway, after guy number two hit on me I had the word so I said, "I'm a breeder." He laughed and asked what I was doing there. I told him I was supporting the LGBT community. And he said I had to be an insider to use the term breeder, he added I was OK (for a breeder I guess), than added that I needed a name tag that said, "Hello my name is BREEDER." We both laughed. The rest of the night I danced with Loo and watched the hot lesbians dance the night away. I watched the gay guys too because they are amazing dancers.

I met all kinds of people there that night, big hulked-out dudes in ball gowns who shaved their furry backs in the shape of their backless gowns. I met girls in tuxedos with mustaches and everything in between. Sometimes I didn't know which sex a person was, not that it was important, I'm just saying I found myself wondering for the sake of wonder.

I had a great time.

But I became aware of some interesting things. My brain likes to gather information, mix it all together and asks "what if."

And after thinking about it I found some things I am envious of gay people about.

I dislike that pretty women have a stupefying effect on me. Like if a woman is hot but mean/rude/bitchy I can overlook that on account of her hotness. This also works with nicely shaped female parts. Like if a girl has a great pair of breasts, but is rude, or mean, or just bad my thought process is, "yeah, she is mean, but she has nice boobs, so...it evens out." A gay guy? Not even. Gay boys can tell hot girls that are acting annoying or whatever that they are annoying. They see them as people first, rather than: Boobs Yay! Butt yay! Hot legs Yay! Oh, yeah, person, person, person... It's a skill I don't have. So basically an 'ugly' girl with a hot body is seen as an ugly girl by a gay guy, where as I see the body parts first and it clouds my judgment. I imagine the reverse is true though about gay guys, like if a dude is being a dick but gay guys think he is hot they probably are bamboozled as well.

There is a documentary called the Science of Sex Appeal that is very interesting. Something that is interesting about it is that pregnant women emit a pheromone from their scalp that calms men down. There are a bunch of chemical warfare battles going on back and fourth between men and women. But a gay couple will never get that chemical warfare. Two gay guys will not get that calming pheromone from a pregnant woman. Now, the really interesting part is that men and women have a smell that is unique to them based on the bacteria that live on their skin. Each person is unique in this regard. Now the people who smell the most genetically diverse from you say, will smell attractive to you because the offspring you would have would have a more complete set of genes and be able to handle infections and diseases better. Now, men have an odor that actually repels women. They dislike the smell greatly. BUT, that same odor, if smelled while women are ovulating, smells amazing to them. Like wise a woman who is ovulating looks and smells better to heterosexual men, it is the period of time that she is most fertile.

What about gay people? Well, as it turns out, those smells that heterosexual people like in the opposite sex, the raw and natural biological chemistry smells, are enjoyed by same sexed gay people. Ovulating women are found even more desirable to lesbians. And a man's smell is enjoyed by a gay man all the time (assuming it's a dynamic smell--this is different than B.O.) There are a bunch of other things, but basically a gay man's brain is physiologically similar to a hetero sexual woman's brain. A gay woman's brain is physiologically similar to a hetero sexual man's brain. This means that both gay men and heterosexual women find the same basic things attractive in men, they can't help it.

Anyway, that's all for today.

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