Free write-- Fog

I think one of the scariest weather situations is a dense fog with rain and it just so happens that the cabin had that situation 2 days ago I was driving up the mountain and through the clouds which is always cool because I wonder what its like to be in clouds-- from UCR I can see the clouds-- big thick cumulus clouds --and when the musics over I go up the mountain and look up through the windshield to the encroaching cloud level which starts as a light mist and proceeds to a thick fog, so thick in fact that I was following a red car about 20-30 feet back and it disappeared-- so I slowed down to 20 mph because that was the safe speed at which if there were something in the way I could see it in time and stop safely--this changed to about 10 when the fog got the thickest I have ever seen--and for one brief instant the wind blew it away and gave me back my visibility and there was the red car--a corolla I think-- not 20 ft from me the whole time--now the purpose of this bit of text is when I turned off the main road and went through the twisty winding path beset by trees on either side--I only know this because I have driven it many times --because the fog obscures it all now-- it was also a full moon out so there was a white brightness above that illuminated the fog a grey color and in some areas where it wasn’t as thick I could see the moonlight shining through the trees making twisted swaying shadows that had a thickness too them-- you know how your shadow is a 2 dimensional thing? like you see your shadow on the ground only or on a wall only? with the fog as it was the shadows had a 3rd dimension to them the shadow didn’t have an end but rather a middle thickness-- they were thick as each little droplet --lighter than air-- seemed to gather the shadow onto itself making the shadows of the swaying trees thick and palpable like there were ropes of shadow that I could climb if I wanted to--I drove to the cabin/parked/got out and the motion light by the door turned on--it seemed so far away because so little of the light reached me--a tiny candle a mile away--I ascended the stairs and stepped inside to drop my things off and then went back out to get the rest of it--the view from the door step is usually the city down below with all its yellow lights a glow and the parallel snakes of red tail lights and white headlights bisecting the county-- to the left another county-- to the right another and behind those riverside, behind that LA and behind that --only on a clear day-- the ocean--now the fog was so thick I couldn’t see the car parked 20 ft away--and when I started descending the stairs thats when I saw--the motion light not 5 ft behind me cast my shadow forward into the mist each droplet catching it along the way making my shadow not only have a new dimension--the likes of which I have never seen before-- but the silhouette looked vaguely human and just to play around I raised my arms to either side like a bear or monster or zombie might and the shadow did the same but now it seemed more intimidating and non human on account of the shifting fog--it was like I had made a new entity right in front of me and to thank me for its creation it would eat me and I became frightened and laughed it off--a fake laugh to convince myself--and continued forward the shadow in front of me mimicking my movments-I reached out twice expecting to feel something in the fog--to know that I would surely die by this shadow monster--but my hand passed through that shadow like so much fog. Now while that was all going on it was raining-- a steady rain of moderate drops, not a down pour and not a sprinkle but a moderate rain-- it reminded me of washington and yellowstone on 3 kings falls when it started hailing in the middle of the hike amongst the trees and the sounds seemed to come from anywhere-- but at least there I could see what was around me--here the fog obscures 10 ft and blocks off 20 ft and all around the sound of big thick drops sparsely falling upon leaves and trees and the sound being carried on the floating water making it sound like it is coming from all directions and none at the same time-- with an inability to see or hear or smell well I realized the limits of my faculties and it seemed to me I could be anywhere in the world besides big bear right now because I couldn’t see anything but the ground beneath my feet and the light --a tiny tea light-- burning a mile away--(which reminds me of the Mayans directing their boats through the coral reef by lighting a fire on the shore inside a building with an angled stone opening you had to be at a certain angle to see and if you could see it that meant you were dodging the coral reef on either side which would rip a boat apart if you collided with it so you followed the light a mile away which had multiple stone angled openings so as you traversed the maze of coral and got closer the light would get lost and you had to change direction till you found it again and continue on because coral doesn’t grow with nice straight openings in it)--with the moon turning the floating water into a wall of grey--I imagined how easy it would be to become lost in this situation--even in a place I knew--plus I started to feel I wasn’t alone and the rain falling made it impossible to hear anyone approaching or making any sound and the fog with the moonlight made it seem like there were all kinds of things out there --great skeletal fingers --- all of it waiting for a chance to scoop me up--luckily I know none of that could REALLY happen but I think of those that came before me thousands of years ago--they knew no such thing and actually believed there were giants and dragons and werewolves in the fog--which is why they didn’t travel in fog and generally stayed inside for fear of being eaten--which is why generations later I need to laugh in the fog to remind myself --unconvincingly-- how silly I am--because there is nothing out there in the fog 30 ft away looking at me with hungry eyes--right?