"Don't be a pussy"

I don't like things that I don't understand. And I don't understand the saying, "Don't be a pussy." It's the last word that really confuses me. It could be cat. It could be vagina. To find out I went to work one day back in Camarillo where it's mostly Mexican guys and we talk sex and toilet humor all day to pass the time.

One day one of the guys couldn't get the tire off this one wheel and from across the back room someone calls out, "Ahaha what a pussy, can't even get the tire off."

That was my chance so I said, "Yeah what a cat." They all looked at me. They looked at each other without moving their heads.

"Did he just say what a cat? That's wack. Fuckin Brian. Ha Ha," they said.

I determined it wasn't cat. So I waited for the next opportunity to use vagina.

A little later someone else was trying to get the spare tire out of a car and it was all rusted in there. It wouldn't come out. From across the room you could hear them calling out, "Lets go you fuckin pussy."

So I said, "Yeah, let's go you vagina."

"Did he just call him a vagina? I think he did. That's strong language. Fuckin Brian. HA Ha," they said.

It didn't seem to be cat or vagina. So the next time they said someone was a pussy I asked them why. What did they have in common with a vagina, I asked. The answers were basically synonyms. The answers regarded a perceived softness of character that was fearful and delicate, easy to hurt, weak, frail even.

It started a thought in my head. I recognized a certain anti-woman thing going on here. They insisted "don't be such a pussy," was the same as, "Don't be such a woman," because they thought women were fearful and delicate, weak, easy to hurt and etc. I asked them if the opposite was true, that someone who was tough, fearless, strong, difficult to hurt, healthy was a penis.

Their demeanor changed. They all looked at each other, afraid. Afraid to respond first maybe? It took me a little while to figure out what was going on. And then I did. I had entered queer territory. I had said, "penis." If they followed it with, "yeah," then they might seem gay to their friends. So there they stood, immobilized by fear of being thought gay. That's when I figured why they were quick to denounce women, talk about meaningless sex, make fun of each other by joking about homosexuality and call each other pussies. The reason they were acting in a hyper-masculine way was because deep down they were afraid of gayness. (of all the things to be afraid of!) I chalked it up to Machismo, and figured it was a cultural thing, or at least an environment thing.

I don't talk that way, but I see the allure of it, to brag and boast about sex and women and conquests and all of it. I understand why they do it. I also understand why I don't. I'm comfortable in my hopeless-heterosexuality, so comfortable that I don't need their verbal pats on my back to boost my ego. Who cares? I certainly don't.

But back to the topic, if the insult about pussy is interchangeable with women and vagina than that leads to some interesting things doesn't it? When you think of vagina, do you think of weakness? I certainly don't. A Vagina seems strong to me. Maybe I think that way because I have a penis and I know it's not all it's cracked up to be. I can separate the myth and mystique, so to speak, from the reality.

For instance I know that the slightest graze of a ping pong ball across my penis can drop me to the floor into fetal position because of the shock of pain. You could argue that maybe I have a sensitive penis and therefore I can't apply this situation to other men. But I would argue I have seen many men drop from the passing graze of a ping pong ball, or a cell phone, or keys, or a softball (those aren't that soft by the way.) And conversely I have seen women take worse punishment to their vagina and not even express discomfort. For example, in 8th grade I hit a softball directly into this girl's vagina. (not deliberately) It worked like a catchers glove stopping the ball, which she bent down to pick up and throw back to home plate where I was standing. I was mouthing the words, "Are you ok?" when I was tagged out. She was ok, a few weeks later when I caught a soft ball in a similar way I was down and out for five minutes.

Women have a higher pain tolerance than men, or at least that's what I have read a long time ago. But the test they used was kinda, well, weird. They inflicted pain on men and women and recorded at what point they said ow. Men said ow first, so they say that men have a lower pain tolerance, I am ok with that being true. But I wonder if there is a maximum pain and if men or women can handle more. I have seen men and women get hurt and men usually are more vocal about it than women, even though they might experience the same amount of pain. Does that make sense? I'll never know because I am not a woman so I can't compare two equal pains back to back.

They say that you call someone a pussy if they are soft, or girly. But if you are a heterosexual male isn't a soft vagina ideal? It just doesn't make sense. Especially when you think about all the things vagina can do. Any porno film can show you that a vagina can take an extreme amount of abuse, the penis by contrast is returned limp, spent, soft and delicate. The vagina can still take more, the penis cannot. And yet the vagina is still the weak one some how, as though the soft, delicate, and sensitive penis is somehow manly because men say it is. And lets not forget that a vagina can pass a baby through itself. It's just you got to give credit where credit is due is all I'm saying.

So the saying don't be a pussy doesn't make sense, and you should take it as a compliment because it means you are strong, versatile, and all the heterosexual men will do anything to be with you.

I guess that's all. It's been bothering me for awhile. I finally wrote it down, though I don't know if it makes sense to anyone but me.