Earthquake!

There was an earthquake in Ojai May 8. It was a lousy 4.2 (which I think is the Absolute Magnitude scale) earthquake but the epicenter was 2 miles away from my house, but like 19 miles below the surface of the street upon which we live. It really is amazing. The earth rubs tectonic plates together briefly 19 miles below the surface, maybe just for half a second, and we feel it vibrate. I didn't feel it, I was at UCR at the time, but my mom felt it.

There has been a lot of seismic activity recently, and by recently I mean recent by human standards, because geological standards take thousands of years. There was another earthquake last week in Oxnard and one recently in the IE somewhere.

Two things, first: I am kinda bummed I didn't feel any of the earthquakes and neither did Laura (she is from Michigan and is terrified of Earthquakes, never having experienced one herself); I wish I could have felt it because I like feeling insignificant, it helps me gain perspective. All my problems, all my concerns everything I care about could all end if the Earth rubs itself 19 miles below the surface. It is also kinda fun when it doesn't break your stuff.

And second: I have heard a lot of people talk about "The Big One" which is due anyday now. They talk about it as though it will never happen, as though this recent piddly rock rubbing is the maximum the earth can dish out to us surface parasites living in her skin.

Let me tell you about "The Big One." First of all there are two. Yes Two Big Ones. One that truly is THE Big One, the one from the tectonic plate of the pacific that collided with the north american plate towards the coast of california. SanFran is actually on the pacific plate and is moving northward and pressing into the north american plate which is moving southward. They collided and are putting tremendous pressure on one another and have halted their movement, as though they are "hung-up" on one another, hooked you could say.

Imagine these two circular saw blades as the two plates. Now, these two saw blades are slowly spinning in opposite directions, until they touch and the clock-wise ocean wave part hooks into the other saws' counter-clock-wise ocean wave part (imagine these two things touching, can you see where they snag one another?). Eventually this snag will have so much force put to it that it will break, and all that force will be released and those two plates will relieve their tension miles below the surface. That is the Big One, and it will come; more and more energy is being placed on these two plates and something has to give.

The second Big One happens every 77 years or so, and we are a hundred something years since our last one, coming up on round two.

If we are really lucky we will get both the big ones on the same day! And maybe, just maybe we would see the theoretical maximum value on the Absolute Magnitude Scale (the Richter scale depends on an actual Richter scale machine which wasn't very accurate, and has become ubiquitous, like Kleenex for face tissue, and etc. but I digress). That value has never been achieved, and if it was reached it would liquefy rock and all our buildings would sink into the ground, which would be just like water. It would be a real calm and gradual sink.

That, however is highly unlikely. Similar to Absolute Zero (the temperature at which everything, even electricity, freezes, approximately -459.67 degrees Fahrenheit) it has never been achieved, though we get close.

What was I saying?

Oh yeah, The Big One, when it hits, will be the most devastating natural disaster humankind has ever experienced. It will make Katrina seem insignificant, and likewise Californians will be destroyed by it. However any aid from the gov, FEMA, or other countries will be insignificant because there will be no usable roads(!), electricity or running water. Water pipes will break, electrical lines will snap, roads will separate/shift/crumble and be unusable by emergency crews. Which means all aid will need to be airlifted in by helicopter, as no runways will survive. Also broken gas and oil lines would vent to the surface where downed power lines would start fires. (fires and earthquakes work together, historically) A chunk of California, with a huge population density, would be trapped in the rubble of a destroyed city on fire without anyway to put it out. The pressurized water pipes for fire fighting will be broken and drained. California will be begging for aid without a chance of receiving it. Motorcades miles long comprised of emergency motor crews will wait at the edge of broken freeway overpasses and gaping gashes that slash the surface of the earth. There they will wait, wondering, hoping there will be some way to help us out before we die from lack of food and water or any injuries we might have suffered as they look out into the brutal landscape of a once proud city on fire.