bienvenido a mi ceso

[inspired by Erin]

At work the other day someone wrote up on the white board: TGIF and I thought in the following order:

1) its thursday
2) TGIF: does that mean Thank God It's Friday or the PC version Thank Goodness It's Friday
3) if it is Thank God Its Friday, which god should be thanked?
4) and if I were to suggest a goddess I would suggest Frigga, whom Friday is named after anyway.

And after the thought came the action. I picked up the dry erase marker and drew a blue line down from the "G" and wrote "which one?"

Nobody got it.
***
A customer who was in love with his BMW was boasting about how well and inexpensive it had been to him to maintain it for the last 80k miles and than he said the following:

"Yep, she purrs like a kitten, runs like clock work, every 20k miles or so something important breaks and it has to go back to the shop."
thought in order:
1) purrs like a kitten is cliche
2) so is runs like clock work
3) breaking seems counter to the metaphor/cliche of running like clock work
4) doesn't clock work mean it just keeps going like a fancy clock or watch?
5) even the fanciest most expensive time keeping devices need maintenance and repairs sometime in their life.

and than I said,

"That's a horrible metaphor."

and than my thoughts were:

1) I shouldn't have said that
2) I shouldn't have said that
3) why did I say that?
4) how do I save the sale?
5) apologize for being a writer, or a college student or having your mind elsewhere

and he said, "Why is that?"

and I said, "Sorry, I have a midterm in Shakespeare tomorrow, im rather mindful of language construction right now. You were saying?"

but he wouldn't relent: "What do you mean, 'that's a horrible metaphor?'"

before I could break down what was going on in my head my mouth opened and let loose:
" if something runs like clock work that is supposed to mean it keeps ticking, it keeps going, over and over. Your BMW breaks catastrophically every 20k miles, while that is timely in itself it does not run like clock work. I understand what you are trying to say, but the metaphor is a bad one. I suggest, set your watch to it, or set your finances to it or something to do with time, rather than a clock. Time is a notion, clock is machinery-- It's not important. Anyway, you were saying?"
***
somebody was talking about basketball or something (i don't pay attention to sports) and they talked about one play that one player did that was godly and amazing.
thoughts:
1) do gods play sports?
2) if a woman did the same thing, would she be goddessly?
3) goddessly isn't a word
4) isnt the last word amazing doing nothing for the sentence? How can it follow godly?
***
end