10 mins at the speed of thought

6:12 pm: So I noticed a lot of my previous posts were really didactic and I dont like that it seems as though I am trying to teach people stuff I have an urge to show them something anything but the urge to do so makes me think it unhealthy as though need to have people say wow look how smart he is or something--its like I need to have that so I find stuff that is complicate dor interesting and write about it in a way as to explain it and it really isn't the kind of writing I WANT TO DO OOPS caps lock got on somehow anyway its not the kind of writing I want to do because its boring to write my heart isn't in it it isn't fun but i still feel like I need to do it maybe even to get it off my chest whatever I have on my chest I dont have anything on my chest right now to get off so there's that--so didactic is ok sometimes but I realized recently that most posts recently and even the stuff I think about is really didactic and I dont enjoy writing it but the thing is my brain is really smart and it holds onto stuff and when someobody somewhere shows me they dont know what I am talking about I have an urge to come online and explain it all away i dont know why that is but I am convinced it doesn't help my writing out because it isn't the kind 9of writing I want to do -- so anyway I graduated UCR wahoo and now I see how scary it is to be out in the world because there are so many distractions and fun stuff to do I could play video games or watch movies or read for fun--I havent done that in years--the sky is the limit as they say which is a cliched metaphor of dastardly proportions because the sky is not thelimit we can go beyond the sky now and our limits seem to be as far as our space ships can travel so the real thing to say would be andromeda galaxy is the limit because we havent been there yet but I am sure we will someday anyway whewrre was I---------------- right so today I worked a full day and my legs hurt cause I been standing kneeling crouching leaning for the last 9 hrs and it feels so good to just sit and take the load off my legs---thinik of something to write about write about write about write about write about I got a new phone because my old phone stopped working properly the microphone broke so I could hear the caller clearly but they couldn't hear me so I got a new one and all of it was 100 bucks but as soon as I fill out the rebate it will be 20$ so i should do that and not be a statistic which is silly because no matter which way you go you will always be a statistic pass or fail you know? and that is 10 mins. That felt good to get out