wtf mate

So I sit here on the 3rd floor of the science library at UCR waiting for my discussion class on religious myths and rituals at 9pm. And while I do that (wait) I am reading the other posts of all my friends and acquaintances. I posted 3 things last month. Why can't I just post all the time. The posts are fun to read. This month my favorite is Erin. She makes me laugh. And this post is prompted by one of hers..something about the rules of coupling for girls.

I have this book called, "The Rules. How to get Mr. Right" It is actually a girly book about how to acquire a husband, not a boyfriend and explains the difference. And it is a collection of rules that when used properly will result in success of the husbandly kind. I feel guilty about talking about this book, cause I am not supposed to have it, not being of the girly persuasion myself.

I have mixed feelings about this book. When I was younger I used it against my female adversaries in the dating arena. The book talked about the right kind of behavior to attract a husband, and the other kind of behavior that attracts a boyfriend. A boyfriend in this case representing the chance for an often shortlived romantic relationship. It was interesting what behaviors called to which types of guys. And it goes on to give rules and tips and tricks for many situations. You (ladies) have to come accross to the potential husband as not easy, but not impossible, that the proof is in the pudding and you are worth the chase and the wait and all the trouble that this little book puts the guy through.

This book is especially devious because many things are subliminal, and if the boy wanted a short-lived fiery romance he might find himself tricked into a long courtship. This book also summarized the things boys do (the way they act) that attracts brief romantic encounters and long romances from women.

The book says you must act a certain way to discourage the boyfriend type guy looking for a brief romantic encounter, and encourage the courtship type guy. I don't have the book in front of me but here is one of the rules:

When a boy calls to make plans for the weekend he must do so prior to tuesday of that week.

If he calls up Wednesday, he is too late, tell him you are busy and if he would have called you sooner you might have been able to change your plans, even if you had no plans. DO NOT GO, it will be hard but you must not go! If you were to agree to his invitation, say to a Saturday date when he called on a Thursday or Friday you would show him that he doesn't have to plan or work very hard to get your time or attention and that you do not require consideration or thought to be taken out. This starts low expectations on his part and he will continue from this low standard and the relationship is doomed to fail! Only agree if you want some sex, knowing that it wont work out as you pursue other options!

Here is the official top ten rules list: http://www.therulesbook.com/topten.html

Anyway, the point I was trying to make is that I used this book to counter the girls who were reading it and using it on dates, which was a surprising number, I found out later. And it worked beautifully. It became a game, I knew where the conversation was going, how to perfectly answer the tough questions they were supposed to ask (some of them didnt even vary the order in which thery were written!), and how to get around the defense mechanisms of time, waiting, number exchanging, etc. It was very devious of me, if I do say so myself. That was back when I played games. And I didn't enjoy the dishonesty of that game.

It was totally useless against girls that had never heard of it, girls that meant what they said without any subliminal trickery, girls that didn't fit into a "type," girls that told you exactly what they thought about you if you asked, girls that were honest, girls like my Fiance.

She was the one that showed me that all the trickery I was learning was a stupid, dishonest game that wasted everyones time. Her simple, yet strong, sentiments spoke volumes about her character. She was the most honest girl I had ever met. When asked a silly question, she didn't dismiss it out of hand, or change the subject as "The Rules" urged, she answered the question. It was disarming. The thought came, "You mean all I have to do is bemyself, and if you like that person then the skys the limit? No tricks, no games, no espionage/subterfuge?"

(I suppose it helped that I was exceptionally handsom and charming and buff and had known her very well for ten years before I met her)

I know her, and she knows me. And we like those people, so it's good.

But that Book. I do not like it on principal. And while it encourages some nice things--make yourself stand out, place yourself in social situations were boys will be etc.--it also encourages dishonesty. You can't say what you want when you want because it will break the rules. You can suggest a place to go that you like, because that is his job and it breaks the rules. You can't ask him frivolous things because its against the rules. You must act a certain way, talk a certain way and be someone you are not. Some may argue that it is modifying who you are, but the modified person only exists when on a date or on the prowl for a date so it is a mask, a facade. (Which is a french word with a little C thing like a capitol letter "Q" on it) And I don't like facades. People that are genuine all the time are my favorite people and that is who I surround myself with.

And as I sit here at the science library in a cubicle all by myself, I chuckle about the irony of all those people I "surround" myself with. LOL

IN summmmmmmation: Be yourself, even if that self is a kook and a half, you may draw another kook and a half and you will have 3 kooks!

*Reading rainbow jingle* da dum dum